After a few hiccups the first week my better half has now grasped the concept of spreading the load by switching the various items on at a few minutes intervals and now it all works smoothly.
No doubt this will change when we eventually opt for the ASHP but even then it looks like a 5kW unit would be plenty for us so with some scheduling we could conceivably manage with 3.6kW inverter even then.
Heating at tea time generally comes from the cooking any how.
Because I incorrectly thought dc meant additional hybrid

Really kicking myself because I have two dc chargers sat in a box in the shed and another cheapo unit running a 20 watt dc panel, battery and bunker lights / phone charger.
I even have some copper earthing strip pieces that are 20mm wide 4mm thick and about 260 mm long to make bus bars for multiple inputs from different charge controllers and panels that will eventually be dotted around the garden.
Moxi