The ornery nature of some people

[Fintray]

The person who did that should be rewarded by six licks of a birch in front of the village hall.

We do still have the old stocks in the village. Someone restored them a few years ago, and they get used from time to time for fund raising events.

Perfect, just need to identify the perpetrator and raise some funds!

[Mr Gus]

Demand fingerprints team out, via a sharp word at accelerating bouts of localised petty theft, stolen property, old folks, mental wrlfare (shaken up)..blah blah.

Tell the community fella, there will be a falling out & a meeting in the village to which police may not necessarily be welcome & that vigilantism is not far round the corner, ..ie get to work lest we make you work harder & publicise their "dngaf" approach through the media.

"this is not what we pay taxes for"

They will spend more time & expense protecting themselves than doing the job, ..that ef*in sucks!